Fred Fredburger (tooimpurenangel) wrote in allmadeofscars,
Fred Fredburger
tooimpurenangel
allmadeofscars

hi

i last cut myself on sept. 17. it was really bad. the reason i did it was i had a very abusive boyfriend and i kept on going over the things he said and did to me, and for each memory i would cut. i have scars on my chest, arms, legs, and feet.
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
  • 2 comments
Hey, I was jus browsing and I red ur your journal. I know youv'e had a pretty shit upbringing... well I don't but I've red about you. Well basically all Im trying to say is I've had a friend who cut herself for ages, and she was just like you like, "it's no big deal" but I personally think it's a major cry for help and an obvious one at that. Yeh I know it temporarily releases the pain (I did it myself for a while)but you're gonna really regret it in the long run! BUT can u please do yourself a favor and find another release ... like talking to friends or a hobbie like kick-boxing or sumthin?? I noticed my friend stopped when she met her boyfriend because he was so concerned about it and REALLY listened, I hope something like that will happen for you because nobody deserves the shit you've had, NOBODY! And you shouldn't take it out on yourself, go crazy, scream out loud, break stuff but dont damage yourself. I know I don't know you and you may think I have no business saying all this but I jus thought I would tell you because I can relate.... sort of!?? Well not really but if you do get over this habit REMEMBER cuts heal and scars fade, you will have a better future, somone whos been through so much shit HAS to have sumthin good happen to them! Anyways, think about it! X
I don't watch this journal nearly enough, I must say, for having made it, but I will try to stop in more often. You know, I've never cut myself in my life, but I've engaged in equally self destructive behavior. For me, for the longest time, I believe it was instantly falling in love. I could meet and fall in love with a person with in a few hours and of course it would all be over in a few weeks, maybe months. I not only had to know the pattern, I had to somewhat enjoy it. Invest myself, get my heart stomped on, repeat. As a life started to magically build itself for me (though trust me, hard work feels anything but magical) This pattern kind of just became dull and faded away. I think we basically just inflict different kinds of pain on ourselves because we have nothing better to do with our time. We feel lonely and think that everyone else has it better than we do. I am one of the most anti-social people you'll meet and each time I talk to a new person I find a little more why. However, as dull and unpassionate as they often turn out to be, sometimes getting out, getting a job, having meaningless repetitive conversations with them and sort of letting life take you by the reigns is enough to get out of a self-destructive slump. I suggest this. Find what you want to do and commit to it. Whatever it is will be an absolute bitch of a motherfucker, it always is. But when you get over the hump and start coasting on the other side, you'll be glad you put in the effort. And if it doesn't work out, keeping busy keeps your mind of other shit. That's my piece, hope it means something.