Twilight's Girl (blayze441) wrote in allmadeofscars,
Twilight's Girl

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Fireball Entry

My Dad. I love him to death but like any human he has his flaws. When I was little I idolized him, even moreso than God. At the time I was a Christian. He used to come to church in a seperate car than me, my sister and my mother. I didn't know why at the time but I guess it's because they were having problems. He also came much later than we did. When he arrived, it was useless to try to get me interested in the church service again. I immediately ran to him and stayed with him the rest of the service, climbed all over him and begged him for money for candy. He was just my idol and perfect in every way. So I thought. When I reached my teens, he still came to church in a seperate car but he spent a lot of time away from home with another woman. He was the only thing that held me to sanity. I was just a daddy's girl and willing to look past all of his flaws. But I knew he'd left me for good when he was "saved" at a church service. Saved is when you repent your sins and give yourself to God. I hate Christianity now, so it hurt when he got "saved". I actually cried at the church service. Soon after that he moved out and my parents got a divorce. He then got married to the mistress he had. Her name is Regina.

Regina is the mother of my ex-best friend. My ex-best friend is Carlissa. She was another that grabbed all of my attention at church. We did everything together and now I know why. Because my father was having a secret affair with her mother. It's kinda funny because when we were little we dreamed of being sisters. Now that she's my stepsister I want nothing to do with her.

My father used to be all mine. Sure he loved my sisters because they're his blood but he'd always tell me that I was his favorite. Now that he has a new family, I'm at the bottom of his list. I'm lucky if I get a gift from him and it's rare that I get to visit him because we just don't have to time. I know he still loves me. He accepts me for every stupid thing I do (which is a lot). He accepts me as a lesbian daughter who almost got arrested for shoplifting. Of course he loves me, but he used to be my everything and my only escape from this dumbass abusive family, but now, he's just the guy who left me to fight for myself.
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